Building competence in a relationship with your child is very important.? Your child needs to feel that they are good at different things in order to build a better relationship with you.? If they become successful at different things they will feel competent.
Competence is a word I use a lot in my day to day work with families as an RDI? consultant.? Not many sessions go by in which we don?t talk about their child?s feelings of competence or incompetence.? Many people do not stop to think about feelings of competence in themselves, let alone in their children.
I never used to think about competencyincompetency, at least not in personal terms.? I just knew that there were times when I felt really good about my ability to do something.? At other times I didn?t want to do something, because I didn?t think I was very good at it.? We all have areas in which we feel really competent, and other areas where we feel incompetent.? Put me in a room with a child for an hour Vikings Alexander Mattison Jersey , and I feel competent to build rapport at some point.? We may even establish some co-regulation and a shared experience.? I thrive in this type of situation.? On the other hand, put me in a room with ten adults that I don?t know very well, and all I want to do is leave.? I don?t feel very competent in my abilities to socialize with groups of people outside of my family, close friends, or profession. ?I avoid those types of situations when possible.
The funny thing about competenceincompetence is that you can see it manifested in people?s behavior.? When people are feeling competent about their skills or abilities in a given activity Vikings Irv Smith Jr. Jersey , they are relaxed, happy, and more willing to participate.? Things seem to go smoother, and the result is usually positive.? When moments of competence are spotlighted, those memories are stored and can be used later to build new areas of competence.?
When a person is feeling incompetent about their abilities in a given area Vikings Garrett Bradbury Jersey , they may appear tense, sad, angry, or defiant.? They may also have a more difficult time performing, or even refuse to participate.? Many times when we see a negative behavior in a child Danielle Hunter Color Rush Jersey , we think that she is just being defiant or naughty.? In reality, what the child might be trying to communicate are feelings of incompetence.? The child who complains about a task or says things like ?This is so dumb? or ?I hate this? may really be saying, ?I feel incompetent.? I need help.?? It is much harder to engage a person who is feeling incompetent, and this can lead to negative outcomes.? Unfortunately, a negative outcome creates negative memories that lead to even more feelings of incompetence Eric Kendricks Color Rush Jersey , perpetuating the cycle.?
So, what can be done to break the cycle of incompetence??? The first thing I have parents work on with their child is to ensure that a guided participation relationship has been established between the adult and child.? When the child has developed this type of relationship, she will trust that the parents will be there to guide and give support when she is feeling incompetent.? How is this done?? By starting with activities that are short, incorporating activities in which the child is already showing some competence and taking himher to the next step all while providing enough support to make the child successful.? Building new levels of competence, in areas where the child has already shown some competency builds a trusting guided participation relationship.? Once this relationship is established Trae Waynes Color Rush Jersey , the guide can begin to introduce new activities; and the child will be more willing to attempt these tasks, knowing his guide will be there to support him.? Recognizing the behavior that communicates feelings of incompetence can be the key in knowing how to support the child and break the cycle.
For more information on how you can begin building competence in your child, please visit our website at http:www.horizonsdrc.?
Your computer is a writing machine, a word processor, a desktop publishing system that can make you rich and famous. The big seller on the internet is information products and you can get a flood of cash pouring into your home office from you writing. Your computer can be turned onto autopilot flying high off the ground into cyberspace. The computer desktop publishing system makes it all possible.
1. Start right now and just do it. Start digging to find your gold mine on your home office computer. Even if you do not write like William Shakespeare you have a better writing machine than Shakespeare did with his crow quill pen. The truth is many writers today are now making big money writing with no more experience than you have.
2. These writers write hot selling articles a chapter at a time and turn them into short ebooks of 20 Laquon Treadwell Color Rush Jersey , 50 or a 100 pages that sell like crazy on the world wide web. The hot selling products on the internet is information. People around the world want to know "how to do it" and they buy millions of "How To Do It Books."
3. The truth is the computer is a complete publishing system where one person can do what once took an entire publishing plant of expert craftsmen like typesetters, writers, proof readers, printers, engravers Ben Gedeon Color Rush Jersey , book binders and sales people. Now one person with a computer can do it all.
4, The way to begin is to just do it. I started when Terry Dean from myhome town in Richmond, Indiana said, "Just Do It." Sure I made a lot of dumb mistakes, but I did research and interviews. I started my newslettercalled Jaleel Johnson Color Rush Jersey , "Big Money Publishing" and I asked hundreds of writers questions to find out what they did to become successful. I got back thousands of answers and published over 150 newsletters in a two years period.